The jibblies

This gigantic wolf spider lives on our patio and as of today is still alive...somewhere.

I don't know what kind of spider this is, but I think he must have spent some time in the navy if the heart tatoo on his back is any indication. He was on my window today and I had a terrible time getting up the guts to smash him on account of his hairy hugeness. So I went to the basement and got some snowboots on, but then I thought "thats no good, he's probably waiting to jump on me!". So plan "B" was to get a log and smash him from a safe distance-which worked brilliantly, but I am telling you the sound of his hairy heiny being crushed was horrible!